Ancestors

“I am Remembering”

You knock at the door of every cell in my body. The rhythms of your drums beat to the tune of my heart. This mass in my throat is bigger than I can bear. So close and yet so far. Coming home to myself I know you are there, without language, land, culture, food, music or religion. You are the very essence of me, looking deeply the nature of my true self is also displaced. With each unpeeled layer you heave, sway, surge, roll, pitch and yaw through my being like a cargo ship carrying chattel to the land of the free. Each affliction cast overboard to the sea.

this pain this hurt

tears leak from my eyes

i hear you calling me back

you say

i feel alone

i feel afraid

i feel betrayed

oh how I weep

stripped bare

in the stillness you move through me

the greatest fleet

a yearning I cannot fulfill

what is this desire this craving that I can no longer ignore

there is something

deep in the pits of my throat

how can i speak for you with hands over my mouth

you say

i am alone

i am afraid

i am betrayed

which of these dharma doors

will lead to you

True self on the ground undulating between

cultural assimilation

and spiritual bypass

SCG

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